Dear Iphegenia,
I was reading through some of the old threads on a Pagan site I frequent and came across a query on Esus. It interested me - especially the response - since I was taught that Esus was an agricultural deity of death and rebirth. The response implied that he was a pretty nasty god whereas I've always seen him in a similar light to Tammuz and John Barleycorn.
Wild Willow
Dear Wild Willow,
Well, I'm fairly certain I know the site you are referring to, and if so, I agree with the posts. I don't know who taught you about Esus previously or why s/he taught you that, but I'll give you my understanding of the god. There is remarkably little left from the people who worshipped him to go by. What does exist supports the idea that he was a pretty terrifying and awe-full deity. The extant evidence can be found in some stone carvings from a number of temples and a poem by the Roman poet, Lucan. There's a later commentary that also mentions Esus and how he was worshipped.
The carvings are some pillars from a temple built to Jupiter by sailors in what is now Paris. One depicts a man chopping branches off a tree, the other a bull and three cranes. The association of man and iconography in these is confirmed through another carving from Treves where the same muscular man is cutting at a tree within which can be found a bull head and three cranes. The bull has a longstanding history as a symbol of divinity and power. The crane represents mystery, divination, and crossing boundaries. So far, Esus seems pretty harmless.
But then there is the work of Lucan:
Ligurian tribes, now shorn, in ancient days
First of the long-haired nations, on whose necks
Once flowed the auburn locks in pride supreme;
And those who pacify with blood accursed
Savage Teutates, Hesus' horrid shrines,
And Taranis' altars cruel as were those
Loved by Diana, goddess of the north;
All these now rest in peace. And you, ye Bards,
Whose martial lays send down to distant times
The fame of valorous deeds in battle done,
Pour forth in safety more abundant song.
While you, ye Druids, when the war was done,
To mysteries strange and hateful rites returned:
To you alone 'tis given the gods and stars
To know or not to know; secluded groves
Your dwelling-place, and forests far remote.
(Lucan, Pharsalia I, 495-510, the Online Medieval and Classical Library)
Hesus is the Roman name for Esus. A god whose 'horrid shrines' are listed alongside the savage Teutates and Taranis and Diana's cruel altars. Not exactly the way one might describe a peaceful or agricultural god. This implies Esus was more associated with war and death.
Who were Teutates and Taranis? Diana we know. The virgin huntress. She who, before the Romans tamed her into a shadow of herself, was fierce and bloodthirsty. Indeed, the Diana of the North was one who demanded human sacrifices according to some legends. Teutates was a war god propiated through human sacrifice. Taranis, a thunder and sky god, was also worshipped with human sacrifice. There is a clear theme here that is further supported through later works on Lucan's reference to Esus. This commentary, the Bernese Scholia, is dated around the C9th mentions Esus as a god appeased by human sacrifice - a man would be hung from a tree until all his members fell off through loss of blood. There is discussion of stabbing and cutting to make the blood flow. None of this sounds pleasant by any stretch of the imagination.
The reality is that we know very little of who Esus was. We know he was appeased and honored with blood sacrifices. That the Romans presumably saw him as a horrible and uncivilized figure. But that the people who worshipped him saw him as akin in power to Jupiter (he is portrayed as equal to Jupiter on the Parisian temple blocks).
Many modern Pagans seem to have a tendency to equate all gods as the same. To claim and own the unknown and reduce it to defined terms. But gods such as Esus stand outside our paltry definitions - by defining them in terms of similarity to gods we think we know we only define our own ignorance as they slip through our grasp.
Iphigeneia, Crone of Hekate
Dear Iphegenia,
I'm new to being Pagan - I decided to convert three months ago and I've read a couple of books from the bookshop. They feel very airy-fairy though. Where do I go to find the nitty gritty stuff? How do I decide what type of Pagan I am? Basically, where do I start?
WitchyWoman
Dear WitchyWoman,
I'm not certain which books you started with, although I have a reasonable idea. There is a pretty big selection of the ecclectic-Wiccan inspired stuff that (to me) seems a little airy fairy too I have to admit. But it certainly fills a need in providing an easy introduction to Paganism for the newcomers. Although what type of Paganism is debatable.
Depending upon your inclinations there are some decent introductory books out there that look at Paganism as a whole and offer some guidelines to the various Paths.
 Paganism, by Joyce and River Higginbotham is pretty decent. Carl McColman's The Complete Idiot's Guide to Paganism has some good basic overviews and information as well.
At the very least sit down in the book shop and spend a few hours browsing one or both of these books. You will probably find yourself drawn to one of the Paths they discuss more than the others and that will offer you a starting point. Both have decent bibliographies to select further reading from.
Beyond that, take a look through our links section for some online sites devoted to various Paths.
Iphigeneia, Crone of Hekate
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Dear Iphegenia,
I live at home with my folks in a very Christian house and most the people I hang out with are also christians. I'm at a Catholic highschool. I feel really uncomfortable talking to anyone about what I believe because I know they don't accept my religion as true. I know this just because of the things they say about other people. But I am tired of living a lie - do you have any suggestions of ways I could tell my family and friends?
faerymayden
Dear faerymayden,
First of all, I need to inform you that if (as it sounds) you're under 18 you really are in a tough place. Legally most countries include religious instruction in the various areas that parents have control over until one hits that magical age. You need to be aware that in such a situation practicing your belief is subject to parental approval - and for another person to teach you contrary to your parents' desire is illegal. If this is the case with you, you might want to rethink this.
If your family is so against non-Christian belief systems, you might be causing trouble for yourself by coming out. It may be in your best interest to simply wait until such time that you can legally follow your own Path. In the meanwhile use your time to maybe look into their beliefs a little more - I don't mean the surface stuff everyone growing up in a Christian home knows. I mean the historical foundations of the Christian faith. This includes the people and beliefs Christianity came into contact with and was influenced by. Developing such a grounding not only gives you a better understanding of that faith, but also a pretty good introduction to the other, Pagan, beliefs out there in their historical context. Most of this material is contained in historical not religious books, making it potentially less offensive to your family and more likely to be accurate.
It might also make some of your conversations a little more interesting if you can comment as to the why's and wherefores of some of their traditions and beliefs and back it up with data! And it gives you a chance to present Pagan material in a non-confrontational fashion that may just pave the way for some understanding later when you do tell them what you believe. Providing them with understanding in a non-threatening environment (ie it's all just history, right?) means it's more likely they'll listen to what you're saying.
Aside from that, not telling your family what you believe is not living a lie necessarily. To profess yourself a died-in-the-wool Christian would be wrong. But to simply refrain from comment in order to protect yourself is not lying. If you have the option to avoid Church and other overt Christian activities, do so. But if you have to go, why not use it as time to think about your faith, your beliefs, your ideas? The thing is your family are supporting, feeding, housing, and clothing you. In return you are expected to conform to certain rules. One happens to be visible respect for the Christian faith. Is it that bad a thing? To spend a few years living their way while they are supporting you?
Good luck with your choice.
Iphigeneia, Crone of Hekate
Dear Iphegenia,
My husband and I are Pagan but we were married in a standard Christian ceremony to please our families. Over the years our faith has grown stronger and we regret giving way on such an important marker of the start of our family life. So we want to renew our vows in a Pagan ceremony. The problem is we have no idea how to do this. How do we find someone to conduct the service? How do we 'get' a Pagan wedding?
Jaeyden
Dear Jaeyden,
Online research will pull up a range of Pagan ministers ("pagan minister" will do it) who do handfastings - find someone local and get together to arrange a big sheebang. Or you could simply write out your vows to each other, and the service, reflecting your beliefs, and involve some close Pagan friends in a private ceremony. Or even just get away by yourselves and do it alone. It really is up to you as to what you want. If you're looking for ideas of what to incorporate within the wedding itself, again some online research under "pagan handfasting ceremonies" will pull up a wide range of results.
Iphigeneia, Crone of Hekate
Dear Iphegenia,
I have been in the closet since I became Pagan three years ago. I have a baby now and I want to raise her in a Pagan community. I'm not sure how to go about finding other Pagans in my area. Any suggestions?
JXCgirl
Dear JXCgirl,
First of all, you're not alone. Many Pagans live a solitary and silent life from fear or discomfit. But there are others out there - you just need to find them. There are many ways to do this, but probably the easiest is to go online to a search engine, type in "Pagan groups" and your region, and hit enter. There are a couple of standard places I'd recommend you try as well - yahoo groups under Pagan and meetup.com also under Pagan. Both are designed to meet the exact need you have. Connect people in similar areas so they can meet and support each other, celebrate festivals, teach and learn, and just get together and hang out, Pagan style.
Also, CUUPs, the Pagan branch of the UU church, is also well worth investigating. If there isn't a CUUPs group near you, try the standard UU - they are often quite interfaith in their practices. Finally Spiral Scouts when your daughter is a bit older. A Pagan version of the Girl Guides, Boy Scouts, et al groups, Spiral Scouts are family focused and Pagan orientated.
Iphigeneia, Crone of Hekate
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2004-2006